Highs and Lows (Not Related to Weed)
October 5, 2018
This morning Brian walked all over the house with a turd stuck to the bottom of his foot and I had to clean it all up and it wasn’t even a metaphor, though it felt like it could be after the events of this week.
Even from here, the events of the Kavanaugh hearings have been horrible to endure and I’ve been in a pretty low mood at times over the last few days. Yesterday I woke up early and read the latest news and began spewing off a litany of complaints at James and I was still going at 5pm last night. He’s the best because he listens carefully and doesn’t piss me off any more than I already am. But a really great thing did happen — I got invited to meet a bunch of women who live in my neighborhood (whom I met through the American Women’s Club of Amsterdam) at a little cafe just around the corner from my house. I took a bath at 7pm, put makeup on (I put makeup on at 7pm!!) and walked half a block to meet them. It turned out to be such a great night. It’s very helpful to meet up, in person, with smart, like-minded women and talk about everything. It took the burden off having to justify and explain — we all started on the same page with the same emotions, and by the time I left I felt less alone and bolstered by the solidarity.
I was also feeling grateful that I’ve continued to choose not to drink alcohol. I haven’t talked about this a lot, but I stopped drinking alcohol last January, and at times, I’ve been tempted to drink here. The cafe culture is very alluring. But one thing that’s helped is that pretty much all the cafes and restaurants here have multiple options for non-alcoholic beers and cocktails. Last night I nursed my pretty little mocktail while the other women drank giant goblets of gin and tonic and I was so grateful to wake up this morning feeling clear headed and fine with no hangover or feelings of post-alcohol anxiety.
And my day was pretty amazing. After the poop incident (anyone in the market for a dog can come right over and take mine because I’ve had quite enough of him, thank you) I met up with my new friend for coffee.
We had the loveliest day wandering around different neighborhoods and checking out vintage shops and markets. Our only plan was to meet for coffee and go to a second-hand clothing store but we ended up walking all over the place, just taking whichever street looked interesting until we ended up in De Pijp and then on to the Museum Quarter.
We had so much fun together and talked about everything under the sun, and I laughed so hard at one point I think I added a couple of months to my life. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think I may have a new very, very good friend, and that is a rare and precious thing at my age.
The other day, the weather was so crazy here an Uber driver accurately said we’d experienced all four seasons in one day. I feel the same way about my emotional state. I’ve felt the lowest of the lows, and the highest of the highs all within a few hours. I’d prefer to ditch the lows, but I know I can’t, and I’m grateful to be living life to the fullest.
I think Brian wants his own blog.
I love reading about your adventures!
Hi Jennifer! Yes, Brian leads a very exciting life. He’ll be sending his blog dispatches from the farm that I’m shipping him off to live on. Thanks for following along! Come visit!