A bitter-sweet Halloween
October 31, 2019
Rarely have I seen worlds collide like I did on Halloween night in Amsterdam. I volunteered to run a jack-o-lantern bean-bag toss game at the AWCA’s Oud Zuid Halloween village again this year and it was super fun but it made for a pretty sharp contrast in cultures.
You’ve got the Dutch, where people have zero line forming skills and a parenting philosophy that children are to be both seen and heard — but from an unsupervised healthy distance — contrasted with the American Expats, who (last night) were largely passive aggressive west-coasters helicoptering their children through the game, indignant that their avocado costumed pre-schooler had been patiently waiting, goddammit. It was a bit much for me to manage, but I think it all turned out pretty well in the end and it seems like everyone had a good time.
I was glad I volunteered again this year. Having a job to do took my mind off some other stuff I’ve been dealing with regarding my old life in journalism, and it was a fun way to spend the night. The AWCA Oud Zuid Village was the first volunteer job I did when we moved here last year, and I was struck by how different I felt doing it this year. This year it felt like I was truly part of the community rather than being the wide-eyed newcomer to Amsterdam and I felt like I had a sense of purpose and belonging.
Also, last night was the first Halloween James Wilson didn’t dress up in a costume, and I have to tell you, friends, it hurt my heart a little bit.
James and James Wilson biked over with Brian to join in the Halloween festivities. James carved our pumpkin (by himself) before coming because he said he felt guilty neglecting it. When I came home I loved seeing it on our doorstep and it made me fall in love with James a little more because I sensed he also might be mourning JW’s transition from little kid to teenager. Experiencing Halloween without having it centered around my own kiddo was harder than I realized it would be. Bittersweet.
JW has grown so much this year, it’s really surreal for us. We had our parent teacher conferences two nights ago and we’re really proud of how well he’s doing both academically but also the strides he seems to have made in the last year emotionally and socially. He seems so much more relaxed and confident and generally more at ease and happy. It’s a good feeling.
It was a busy day and it has been kind of a crazy week so I’m hanging out having a pajama day and it’s pizza movie night tonight so things are pretty darn good in my world right now. TGIF
Love reading your blog. Just spoke with your Mom and she connected me. So happy you are all doing so well.
Love you