Dutch Parties are Different
December 16, 2018
I’ve just returned from James’s company holiday party and I’ll just take a moment to tell you about it. First, I’ll say work parties can naturally be awkward, particularly for spouses. You don’t know people that well, you are in a forced-socializing situation, and there’s typically copious amounts of alcohol involved that can lead to cringe-worthy events (many of which I’ve been known to perpetrate).
However, it’s also challenging when zero alcohol is involved.
I’m coming up on my one year anniversary of choosing not to drink alcohol, and I will say tonight was one of the more challenging experiences I’ve had with that decision. Not using a few glasses (or an entire bottle) of wine to help assuage an uncomfortable social situation is still something I’m learning to navigate. Also, I’m a Capricorn. We don’t yell “Woo” in group exercise classes, and we don’t suffer fools lightly, so the merry-making deck is stacked against us and a company Christmas party is pretty much a guarantee for misery for us goats.
Throw in a language barrier (James’s co-workers are all Dutch), being trapped on a 4-hour boat ride, attempting to eat a five-course meal (including soup) while reclining on a large white communal sofa bed in your socks while a stranger’s thigh is pressed up against yours, a DJ playing pulsating techno music, and, I kid you not, A MIME to the party mix and the situation becomes ever so much more….. shall we say….. imposing?
But the real cherry on top of this party was walking out of the bathroom to discover three of my husband’s co-workers peeing in urinals, which, inexplicably, were located right next to the sink.
It was awkward, my friends. Very, very awkward.
About ten minutes into the party I felt trapped and panicked and seriously considered jumping over the railing and swimming to shore, but I took some deep breaths and sipped my tonic with lime and forced myself to relax. It took a little while with me sitting with the situation and doing some mental relaxation techniques before I was able to get myself to a good place, but I did it.
And then I actually started to have a good time.
James’s coworkers were all very friendly and perfectly lovely to talk to. As a side note, they are also incredibly tall. Amsterdam is the land of giants. It’s weird when James isn’t the tallest person in the room and in this case, there were several people who were significantly taller than him. It was fun to be present and notice things like this rather than just drinking myself into an altered state. And the party did end up being pretty entertaining. For example, there was a woman who sang a couple of bawdy songs, one of which was entitled “Everyone is F*ck!ng But Me.” Now that’s something you don’t typically experience at your average office holiday party in America.
All in all I’d say the evening went pretty smoothly.
The best part is I’m going to bed sober. I won’t be puking, I didn’t embarrass myself (aside from the moment when I realized the mime had made eye contact with me and was heading my way and I scrambled off the couch and hid in the bathroom until the coast was clear, but I’m not apologizing for that. Mimes are horrible and that’s a fact), and I’ll wake up with a clear head, ready to face the day, which is great because tomorrow is James Wilson’s 13th birthday party! I can’t wait to celebrate with him.
It’s going to be awesome.
